No, you are not that good

When studying computer Science, the course ‘Object Oriented Programming’ taught me everything I needed to know about writing software:

Use and code the bare minimum

It makes me waste less time, and prevents me from showing and implementing everything I can do. Yes, I have knowledge of LDAP. I even wrote a small library that I can include in my projects. But that doesn’t mean I should…

Keep it simple #

I love writing code as much as I hate it. I had a dream writing code, and it was good. Now I have nightmares about everything I have written and will write. What if it breaks? What if random_method is deprecated or buggy?

The more I write, the more it tends to break. And if it doesn’t, it will tomorrow. Im simply not that good. No one is. Not even you.

I’m a divine creature #

When solving my family members computer problems, I follow a very strict protocol:

If that fails, I have a solid backup plan:

And this somehow makes me a divine creature capable of everything.

In comes my work.

Here, I’m a soda drinking machine that writes software, some kind of blackbox that never does what it was supposed to do.

It is never fast enough, small enough, good enough. Always room for improvement. I never get to finish anything up to a point where I’m satisfied. We shipt it, but it doesn’t give me a finished feeling. I could have added my LDAP support library.

And that is our problem. Our work is never finished, yes we can write software, but it will break. And when it breaks, we get to fix it. and that fix will eventually break.

A loop of breaks;

die();

 
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Now read this

OOPS : Object oriented pile of sh*t

Why is it that everyone with a keyboard, notepad and <!DOCTYPE html> has to reinvent the wheel? But less round. With 4 corners. Duct tape to hold it together. And tons of safety warnings. What happened to the art of programming?... Continue →